Why "The Princeton Mom" is Bad for Girls

The day before Valentine’s this year, The Wall Street Journal posted an op-ed titled “A Little Valentine’s Day Straight Talk.”  Had the year of the piece not been listed at the top, one might think this was a post from an era long gone, reprinted as an April Fool’s Day joke.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t April 1st, nor the year 1950.

Select quotes include: “for most of you the cornerstone of your future happiness will be the man you marry.” And “You're not getting any younger, but the competition for the men you'd be interested in marrying most definitely is.”

Of course this is laughable to many folks who have the intelligence and life experience to know better.  And this is not to take away from women and men in which getting married is a goal they want to prioritize early in life.

What scares me about this piece being printed in a National newspaper, and on a website with a large global readership, is how it affects young girls who are already dealing with enough decisions, insecurities and pressures in their lives.

I have traveled the world, lived life on my own terms, and am presented with incredible personal and professional opportunities on a daily basis.  Above and beyond all, I am happy.

I come from a supportive, but middle-class, Midwestern family with loving parents who have been married since my mother was 19.  Getting married young worked for my parents.  Yet what it provided for me is the option to choose my own path in life, in love, and in a career.  

Beyond my nuclear family, I’m grateful for for everyone and everything that came before me which granted me the perspective to view what I have as limitless opportunities and choices in life for personal and professional growth.

What's wonderful about our world is that there is something for everyone.  The same path isn't going to make every individual happy and we need to be celebrating humanity’s, especially girls’, right to diversity, uniqueness, finding one’s own path and thus, their happiness.

Who I am now at 31 is an evolution of who I was in college.  I can’t help but smile to think what would have happened had I married any of the young men I dated in college. We all (men included! :)) evolve and change and grow.  That is life- it is exciting and is natural.  If you have found someone in which you can grow and change with together for decades; that is incredible.  Stick with it.  But most of us live in reality in a modern world and are quite content continuing to experience life in whatever way we want.

I won't be the same at 40 or 60 or 80 and I can't wait for those life experiences.  Thank you to my parents and the women and men who came before me who laid the path for the freedom of life choices I now posses.

Susan Patton may think that dating different types of people is a “waste of time.”  For me, they’ve been blessings and incredible learning experiences.  I’ve had a blast with the “bad boys,” learned a ton from the “crazy guys.”  The married men she references still hit on me (and they are often young), prompting me to wonder if men also receive antiquated advice on “marrying young”- before they are fully formed adults who have discovered what they want and who they want to be.  

As for The Princeton Mom’s comments on age and “competing” with women in their 20’s?  Give me a break.  I’m not “competing” with anyone.  I live a life of supporting young women and finding partnerships that satisfy areas of my life as an equal.  As to Ms. Patton’s superficial points, I look better in my 30's than I did a decade ago.  I can now create time to prioritize health and I love to exercise and eat well way more than I did while in school.  Not to mention that I can afford whatever I want in those areas due to a career of my own control and making.

Girls, there are men who respect you as equals and they are plentiful and wonderful. Pursue what you want, but always know that you have a choice and that the options in all areas of your life are limitless.

I hope Susan Patton has a fulfilling life with her husband, whom I assume she had to have met in college in order to be doling out such advice.  I am all for monogamy and blissful unions.  I am thrilled for my close friends who met loving partners in college and have great relationships.  But please do not tell girls what to do.  We are the first female generation with choices and I am loving it.

Fierce Compassion in Cannes

For the past 5 years, I have been lucky enough to travel to the South of France for the annual MIDEM conference, were the music industry's global community comes together.

MIDEM is INTENSE.  When done right, it is packed with meeting after meeting, speed dating style.  I love working with the conference and this year they asked me to interview Seymour Stein, which was a complete honor.  In addition to the above, I am currently overseeing or running three companies and had a slew of social engagements as well as professional events to attend during the week.

Thus, as always, health and balance is as important as ever.

I was thrilled this year to score an Airbnb apartment not only 2 blocks from the conference center, but also literally across the street from a yoga studio:

For the second year in a row, I attend an evening class on the day of arriving; which of course felt great after a long-haul flight.

I love the layout of this studio.  There is a giant Om symbol that one faces in class with a large Buddha painting to the right and a Buddha statue by the door to the studio.  There is free yogi tea near the changing rooms and a slew of yogic texts.

The teacher on this Friday evening was female and introduced a pose I had never done before.  Kind of a twist (literally) on pigeon.  I'm generally quite a yoga traditionalist as the practices have been around for thousands of years; so why change them?  But this posture felt great!

Most of the other classes I took were led by what I believe was the male owner.  He is wonderful! Super into it and taught different style classes back to back with some new things that were impressive.  The teacher's passion shone through with his "LIVE, LOVE, YOGA" tshirt and the fact that he was not creepy.  (Sometimes male yoga teachers just can't help it, hate to say it....).

All was great all week and doing yoga in French was a blast.  The teachers were nice enough to include some English, but I didn't mind following along and trying to listen for Sanskrit words.

However, I didn't end the week very well.  After my interview with Seymour Stein, I was looking forward to winding down with an evening class.  The schedule was confusing as it had 6:15 and 6:30 listed.  I was running late due to work flowing in from the U.S. and turned up at 6:35.  The teacher, understandably, was NOT happy about this.  I thought I was only a few minutes late, but it turns out I was 20, which is definitely rude and I felt like an obnoxious American :(.

Instead, I took myself out to dinner at Brouette de Grand-Mere, which was epic and I highly recommend: http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g187221-d1790776-Reviews-Brouette_de_Grand_Mere-Cannes_French_Riviera_Cote_d_Azur_Provence.html.  Thanks to Dick Huey @ Toolshed for the recommendation!

I'm going to have trouble rating yoga studios as all yoga is wonderful and I feel grateful when I can do classes while traveling.  But wrapping up a great week on such a bummer note, makes me dip this studio down to 3.5 / 5 stars, even though I blame myself.  Clearly I need to be more mindful about getting to class in time and I'll make it a priority at this studio in 2015 as I've already booked lodging nearby so I can return and hopefully have an equally solid MIDEM 2015 :). xo