The day before Valentine’s this year, The Wall Street Journal posted an op-ed titled “A Little Valentine’s Day Straight Talk.” Had the year of the piece not been listed at the top, one might think this was a post from an era long gone, reprinted as an April Fool’s Day joke. Unfortunately, it wasn’t April 1st, nor the year 1950.
Select quotes include: “for most of you the cornerstone of your future happiness will be the man you marry.” And “You're not getting any younger, but the competition for the men you'd be interested in marrying most definitely is.”
Of course this is laughable to many folks who have the intelligence and life experience to know better. And this is not to take away from women and men in which getting married is a goal they want to prioritize early in life.
What scares me about this piece being printed in a National newspaper, and on a website with a large global readership, is how it affects young girls who are already dealing with enough decisions, insecurities and pressures in their lives.
I have traveled the world, lived life on my own terms, and am presented with incredible personal and professional opportunities on a daily basis. Above and beyond all, I am happy.
I come from a supportive, but middle-class, Midwestern family with loving parents who have been married since my mother was 19. Getting married young worked for my parents. Yet what it provided for me is the option to choose my own path in life, in love, and in a career.
Beyond my nuclear family, I’m grateful for for everyone and everything that came before me which granted me the perspective to view what I have as limitless opportunities and choices in life for personal and professional growth.
What's wonderful about our world is that there is something for everyone. The same path isn't going to make every individual happy and we need to be celebrating humanity’s, especially girls’, right to diversity, uniqueness, finding one’s own path and thus, their happiness.
Who I am now at 31 is an evolution of who I was in college. I can’t help but smile to think what would have happened had I married any of the young men I dated in college. We all (men included! :)) evolve and change and grow. That is life- it is exciting and is natural. If you have found someone in which you can grow and change with together for decades; that is incredible. Stick with it. But most of us live in reality in a modern world and are quite content continuing to experience life in whatever way we want.
I won't be the same at 40 or 60 or 80 and I can't wait for those life experiences. Thank you to my parents and the women and men who came before me who laid the path for the freedom of life choices I now posses.
Susan Patton may think that dating different types of people is a “waste of time.” For me, they’ve been blessings and incredible learning experiences. I’ve had a blast with the “bad boys,” learned a ton from the “crazy guys.” The married men she references still hit on me (and they are often young), prompting me to wonder if men also receive antiquated advice on “marrying young”- before they are fully formed adults who have discovered what they want and who they want to be.
As for The Princeton Mom’s comments on age and “competing” with women in their 20’s? Give me a break. I’m not “competing” with anyone. I live a life of supporting young women and finding partnerships that satisfy areas of my life as an equal. As to Ms. Patton’s superficial points, I look better in my 30's than I did a decade ago. I can now create time to prioritize health and I love to exercise and eat well way more than I did while in school. Not to mention that I can afford whatever I want in those areas due to a career of my own control and making.
Girls, there are men who respect you as equals and they are plentiful and wonderful. Pursue what you want, but always know that you have a choice and that the options in all areas of your life are limitless.
I hope Susan Patton has a fulfilling life with her husband, whom I assume she had to have met in college in order to be doling out such advice. I am all for monogamy and blissful unions. I am thrilled for my close friends who met loving partners in college and have great relationships. But please do not tell girls what to do. We are the first female generation with choices and I am loving it.
1 comment:
Wow!
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